Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Ask Questions...

Proverbs 18:15 - The ear of the wise seeks knowledge

Technology is an every changing thing in the world we live in today. If a company sits idle with the technology they are using, they will get left in the dust by the competition. Companies like this have the perception or school of though of "let's not fix what isn't broken". Sometimes companies catch on to this fact after it is too late and ultimately the company falls to pieces and ceases to exist. I truly think sometimes we can get too comfortable in our marriage. We can make assumptions, we can think we know all there is to know about our spouse. So we just stop learning about them and ultimately the communication stops, the romance stops, and all of the sudden you have nothing left. You suddenly forget why you married this person in the first place. You might even justify your thinking that it is alright to walk away. You might find reasons to start thinking that maybe the grass is greener on the other side. Trust me when I say the grass quickly fades to brown and satan is waiting there to destroy you and your marriage. It is so easy to slip especially after reality sets in that this person you married is not perfect.

Things change over time, your marriage changes over time, and the person you are married to changes over time. This is why it is important to me to constantly study my wife. I was terrible about this and the above paragraph describes just one of the many things I did wrong. But I now make it my mission to study her. I want to get to know the person I never took time to know in the last couple of years when God changed her. I want to know everything there is to know about her. I can only do this by asking questions and listening to what she has to say. I was reading in Fireproof today and there were three questions of the many I need to ask. Here they are:

1. Do you know her greatest hopes and dreams?  I know that her dream is to have a loving marriage and family. But there are probably a lot more that I don't know.

2. Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love? I never really knew this before because I was so wrapped up in myself. I am learning this from her now on a daily basis. I have picked up a couple of tricks, but I want to know all of them.

3. Do you know what her greatest fears are and why she struggles with them? I know the immediate fears she has. I also know why she struggles with them. HELLO is this thing on?? I caused those fears. Only through prayer and proving to her with my actions can I start to give her reasons to no longer have those fears. But I don't know what the fears are beyond this right now. I plan to know those as well.

I never want to get comfortable in my marriage again. What I mean by this is, I want to enjoy life with my wife. She is and always will be a constant part of my life. I will always take the time to actively study so I can be the very best for her that I can be. I want to help ease her fears, I want to understand what makes her feel loved, and I want to help her achieve her dreams. I always want to be able to relate to her in everything we talk about. I will never think "why fix what isn't broken" because I have found out that, living like this leaves your marriage behind "the marriage times" if you will. To succeed you gotta keep it fresh and on a constant path of discovery of your spouse. So questions I will ask and answers I will listen for.

OK so what to pray for: Pray for our friends and family that God will continue to strengthen our relationships with them. They have been an important part of this whole thing and I don't know what we would do with out them. Continue to pray for our kids. God is working here. My wife and I have an important meeting tonight that will determine a key change we make for our family. We are asking for the Lords will in this.

Father thank you for the ability to ask questions. Help me to always actively listen to what my wife has to say. Thank you for making your word come alive to me. Thank you for renewal. Thank you for friends and family who support us even in the darkest times and show an unconditional love for my wife and I. Father thank you for being my savior.