Friday, March 30, 2012

Tough questions...

At work I experience tough questions. With my kids I experience tough questions. There are tough questions all over the place in life that we must answer. Especially when our actions are the cause of those questions. I said many times before that I would have to be patient with my wife and absolutely not get frustrated when she questions me on the life I was living for a good year and half.

OK well based off what most of you know about this situation.. yes there was a physical altercation. Yes I was visited by the police, cuffed, and hauled downtown. I was processed, I was formally charged, and I went before a judge. I met men who had made mistakes different than I, but none the less had made mistakes. I spent time in a very small jail cell where the Lord was waiting on me. Funny that I just said that because in my devotions yesterday was about the Lord showing up or waiting when or where we least expect him too. That 30 hours or so, the Lord dealt with my heart, showed me all the things I had been doing wrong. Showed me the sin in my life and then lovingly forgave me when I asked... no... begged for forgiveness.

So the first question that my wife asked me and has asked me many times... How can you lose feelings for a woman and change your life so dramatically almost over night. Please remember, not once, but twice I moved out of our house and in with this other woman. Please remember even when I moved in, I still was not done with that relationship. As my therapist has put it, drug users usually have mutliple relasps before they get it right. Well this woman was my "drug of choice". It took the courage of my wife filing a complaint against me for me to wake up and realize what my life had become. God will reach even the most stubborn people, we just have to be open to it.

As I sat in that cell, I was scared, I was lonely, and most of all so angry with what I had become. It took me a few minutes to see God sitting next to me on the bed. Once God and I locked eyes, he started pointing out many things in my life. In that tiny room, God transformed me, took away the darkness of my life and filled it with his spirit. God healed me of the past because I gave it up so freely to him. Now was time to start asking him to help me out of that room and start repairing all the damage I had done. So to answer how can God change a person like he did with me? God removed the sin that kept me stupid and blind. God restored my site and I was free for the first time. I could see and there I face a whole new world through God's eyes. God unlocked the doors, removed the chains, and set me free.

I will continue to walk you through those days after as time goes on. Today I felf this is the direction I should take this blog... well at least for today.

OK so what to pray for. It should be obvious now why I leep asking for the Lords will when it comes to the court dates. Please continue to pray for those. My wife did something very bold today. Pray that it did us some good. Pray for my oldest son, he still struggles a bit. Pray for the Lords will for our lives and which direction we should go. Pray for a job for my wife.

Father thank you for setting me free from the chains that held me fast to sin. Thank you for restoring my sight....