BRAIN DEAD.... I have not slept since Saturday night. I sang three times in Texas this past weekend with the trio and made a 14 hour trip back home arriving at six o'clock in the morning and having to leave for work 30 minutes later. Needless to say I am brain dead and not much is coming to mind to talk about today. I pretty much will go home eat with the kids and put ALL of us to bed. OK we will see. I have had my 14th 100th new wind today, so no telling what will happen when I walk in the door.
What I have found today is I feel empty. It could be because I am tired, it could be because I spent a good part of the weekend ministering to others, it could be because God wants to prove a point. Yesterday I spoke about the past two years... not giving details of course. I think my Dad thought I was going to and I was told the look on his face was priceless. I wish I someone had a camera at that point. But seriously... I talked about and I have talked about many times in this blog about when we are empty that is when God uses us the most or takes an opportunity to show us something that we need to know. This was in my devotions today. I am reading His Utmost for His Highest.
"We don’t deliberately set the statements of Jesus before us as our standard, but when His Spirit is having His way with us, we live according to His standard without even realizing it. And when we look back, we are amazed at how unconcerned we have been over our emotions,"
In Romans 5:5 it says this:
5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
I absolutely know that I will never be perfect like my heavenly Father. But I am finding out that when we truly allow God to empty us out of the junk making us empty, that is when God starts filling us up with the Holy Spirit. I want to get to the point of being that husband, father and friend who is "unconcerned over my own emotions" and is acting out of the love of Christ because I am filled with his spirit. I think it is these moments where others see through us and sees Christ in us.
I seriously strive daily to be transparent to others. I know there was a moment this weekend where I failed. But I know when I fail, I am empty and God is standing ready to fill me.
OK so what to pray for... Pray for my wife and I. We are still seeking God's will. Pray for a friend of ours who lost his wife a few weeks back. There are still lots of struggles and decisions that have to be made. Pray for my earthly mom who needs healing. Pray for our kids. God is moving in our kids. Pray for May 9th.
Father thank you for making me empty and filling me with your Holy Spirit. Thank you Father for always waiting to fill us up when we are getting to the end point.