Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Often and much

As a husband who has had an affair, I find myself taking the little things for granted. For instance, how I say things. I used to be able to say particular things before all of this happened and it would be fine. But now, some time those things need to come out with a little bit more care and love attached to them.

If you can, imagine you are towing a very old priceless vase that is not tied down for stability on a flatbed trailer. Now this vase is huge in size and if shifted in any way, it could fall and break. Now replace the vase with the heart of a spouse who's husband had an affair on her. This spouse has decided to forgive him after all the things he said, he did, and his actions. It makes for some very critical times in a marriage that never really had a strong foundation in the first place. So when I say things to my wife, I sometimes forget that her heart is that vase on the flat bed trailer that I am towing. If I am sudden in my words without thinking, that heart of hers will fall and start to crumble. Don't get me wrong, the heart of hers is some what secured down now, but not all the way and still any sudden move will cause damage to the work that has been done.

There are certain emotions that my wife experiences that I have to be patient with. Sometimes I do well and sometimes not so much. When I don't do well and it is because I sometimes forget that my wife needs to work through some of the emotions and feelings attached to this whole thing. When she needs to work through those, I need to make sure that I am listening and doing it actively. The past couple of weeks there were times where I failed miserably at this. If I were to look at the last four months or so, the failures have been getting less and less. We are moving forward, but sometimes time is need to heal and to work through stuff.

We make it our goal every day to surround our days, weeks, and the future with prayer. We pray together before either one of us starts our day. That is so important to us as it helps build that base and keeping Christ the center of our marriage. I know God will continue to heal us, and I know he will continue to gently remind me to be the image of Christ to my wife. I can't imagine what life would be life if Jesus hadn't died on the cross for our sins. I can't imagine what this situation would be like if I hadn't surrendered everything to Christ. But I know through it all the Lord will lead and guide is through this.

So what to pray for... Our kids, our marriage, strength for each day. Pray for the May 9th court date. Pray for our jobs and the Lords will for our lives.

Father all I can say today is thank you and I give you praise for all that you are to me.