It has always been my goal to write in this blog every day. Up until this week I have done a pretty good job at doing it. This week has been busy and there has been no time to write this blog. But the business of the week brought challenges and anxieties.
The challenges was that I had to travel twice this week to different locations for work. I got home an hour to an hour and half later than I normally do. On top of that my group sings Saturday night and because of the way things worked out, I had to do some extra preparation for it last night. Tonight is my first night that I will actually have nothing to do. So whew!! One day out of this whole week, I have a free night that I will be spending with my wife. Life happens and that is just the way it is. I hope not to face a week like this for a while to come.
This week was reminiscent of last year, but these kind of weeks were sometimes on purpose as I really didn't want to be home. So what happened was, I didn't keep in mind my wife very well this week and the anxiety that she was facing. Honestly I did a horrible job at recognizing it and then being understanding about it. Life happens and that is all very good if you are a couple who has never been through what we have. But if you have, then busy weeks bring much more than just business and exhaustion.
Busy weeks like this, bring back some thoughts of the past and how things used to be. Weeks like we have had this week will make spouses such as my wife have anxiety. I don't feel like I didn't do much right this week. I did a horrible job at the assurance thing and making my wife who is the most important person on this earth to me, feel like she is important. In the mind of ME, I am just living life and understanding that having a busy week sometimes happens. In the mind of my wife it is more like, yes this is a busy week, but she questions why it is so busy. Questions such as, "Is he where he actually says he is or should I be worried?" because last year busy weeks were all the time. Another question she ask was is she still important to me or was I setting her on the back burner. I really have no defense for this and I handled it very wrong. This week it was never my intention to set her on the back burner. I need to remember that busy weeks are not so normal for her and that there are a lot of anxieties and thoughts going on in that head of hers. What I should have done, was made sure that I was even more attentive to her. AKA extra grace day/week.. thanks to my therapist for that one. This would have gone along way in easing her anxieties and questions.
So I give myself a fail this week. A lesson learned that I need to do a better job at being the husband that I need to be. I need to do a better job at understanding what she is going through when things get busy. I need to remember that we should be walking through busy weeks together and not me telling her to be patient the week is almost over. Are busy weeks going to happen? Of course they are. It is life and life sometimes happen at a quicker rate than we like. Life sometimes doesn't leave a lot of time for the things that are most important to us. But the most important things in my life, are what keeps me going. My wife, my kids, and most importantly my Lord. When life gets busy, I still need to make sure that the most important things get the attention they need and deserve.
OK so what to pray for... Pray for Monday as my wife goes and talked to the states attorney. Pray for God's will to be done. Pray for that very special prayer request. I will tell you all about it when I am given permission to do so. Pray for the Lord's will in our life. We just want to serve him and we are waiting for his call. Pray for my kids.
Father thank you Lord for reminding us of what it is to be your servant, a husband or a wife, a father or a mother and friend. Father help us to always keep our eyes on you even when things get busy.