Friday, April 6, 2012

Trust is...

I have often said that trust is a word of many meanings. When we walk we trust that our next step will be on solid ground. When we turn on the light, we trust that 99.9 percent of the time that light is going to turn on. When we put the key in the ignition of the car we trust that the car is going to start up. These are all easy things to trust. Everyone of these are almost a sure thing.

Trusting people is different. My wife trusting me the day I said "I do" meaning that I would never step out of our marriage with another woman was something she trusted me so freely about. I ruined that trust the first time I even had thoughts about it. I have often used the term "safety net" for many things. When it comes to marriage, you only have two. One is God and the other is your wife. With the simple flick of a match I burned both of those and went far beyond where I should have. The very second I crossed the line, I gave up all rights for my wife to ever trust me again.

Rebuilding the trust between she and I is a daily thing. It just doesn't come back after an apology, some counseling, and you move back in. A marriage that has suffered an affair just doesn't bounce back. It takes time and it takes work. There are what our therapist has termed as "extra grace days" that I must give to my wife. Those are days where she struggles with trust or has feelings of anxiety. My job on these days is to assure her and let her know how much I love her. There are still questions sometimes when I walk out the door to go to a meeting or something else or a quick run to the store.

This trust is not just about my where abouts. I am finding that in a marriage trust is about so much more than that. Trust is about the love and friendship that is the very basis of my marriage. This is also something that doesn't snap back after the apology, counseling... etc.. Trust is about when I look at her, or kiss or or being intimate that she is the only person I want to share that with. In other words, she is the only person that I am committed to as well as always thinking about.

To me my wife is the most beautiful woman on this earth. She is a gift from God that I almost lost. Daily I want to make sure she knows that I love her with all that I am. Daily I want to assure her that come rain or shine, I am in this forever. Every day I want to assure her that no matter what comes our way, that we will face it TOGETHER. I want to make sure that she knows that nothing will come between us again. The key to this is putting our faith, hope, and trust in the Lord that he will provide for us however we need him to and however he wants too. Bottom line, is this, the relationship, friendship, marriage, and trust that we are building is a stronger foundation than we ever hard. The reason for it is God. There are no ifs ands or buts about it.

OK so what to pray for... a very important person in our lives found out today that they have cancer. This is a person who is partly responsible for our marriage surviving. Pray for the Lords will in that and in all things concerning that.

Father thank you for healing. Today I pray that you would put your healing hand on this person. We claim it in your name.. Amen.