I really think neither one of us had a clue on how to be married. Seriously lets face it, two selfish people with their own agenda's cannot possibly make a marriage work. This is not one of those two negatives makes a positive type things. So here we are about four months in this journey we call married life. We have three kids on top of that. So trying to be parents, figuring out how to be married and letting go of the past does not make for an easy time.
I remind myself and my wife that after what we have come through that none of this was going to be easy. We were stupid if we thought it was going to be. We are on the fast track here. Most married couples after they tie the knot are in the honeymoon period on the average one to two years. Well... in our case it feels like we skipped the dating and just got married and someone gave us three kids as a wedding gift. Throw parent issues on one side and an affair on the other and it spells possible if not certain disaster. Try to shed those while getting to know the actual REAL person you married it makes for a difficult time.
I mean lets be honest here, things between my wife and I are either good and we are ON 100% or we are off 100%. There is no in between and this roller coaster has all ups and downs. There is no cruise control or 50%. I truly believe that if we keep our eye on the ball ( future ), then we will continue to build that base and go up from there. A house will never stand on a cracked foundation. Eventually piece by piece, it will crumble to the ground. So it is important to build the base upon the solid rock of God.
When storms come our way and we are in our house. A tornado siren sounds and we are told to immediately head to the basement. That is the safest place. It is true in our marriage. When a storm comes our way... by the way a storm in our situation can be anything from the past haunting its ugly head some new way, or some type of new drama that may have a direct impact on our marriage. When this happens, my wife and I need to remember to go to the foundation that is firm in the Lord. Sometimes we both struggle with that and we take our eyes off of the Lord and we begin to sink, just like Peter did when he took his eyes off of Jesus while walking on the water. It is important to trust the Lord that he can help us with every aspect of putting this marriage back together. I think this weekend, we just needed to remember that.
My wife and I have a lot going on. Kids, the past, the anxieties, and all that goes with what we have been through. We just marched forward at our own speed and forgot to wait on the Lord. When that happened, we weren't sitting at the foundation waiting on the Lord. We got kicked and knocked down on our rears and quite honestly, it hurt a lot. But I believe it is through pain sometimes that the Lord teaches a lesson or two or three. Well.. thanks God's lesson learned and I hope we remember next time.
OK so what to pray for... Pray for our future. We are seeing the Lord starting to work and we just want to be obedient to him. Pray for May 9th court date. Pray for our job situation. Pray for our kids. Pray for that special someone in our lives that needs pray daily.
Father thank you for knocking us to the foundation of you. Thank you for teaching us a lesson and helping to learn what it means to wait on you.