Monday, May 7, 2012

Earlier Questions and new answers..

In the very beginning of this journey I was working my way through the book Fireproof and let me tell you, it was another piece that played into the saving of my marriage. I gotta tell you, I didn't understand a lot of things until after I read this book. Below are the honest answers at that point in my life and how I answered them as the book presented them to me.

A section from this blog on January 4th 2012.

"My Fireproof reading today covered selfishness. There were some questions that were asked. I have failed at every one of them. I am going to change the words from DO to DID.

Did I truly want what's best for my husband or wife? My answer NO

Did I want them to feel loved by me? My answer NO. I was pretty blinded and stupidized (yes I made that word up ) by SIN.

Did they believe I have their best interests in mind? My answer NO

Did they see me as looking out for myself first? My answer YES"


Today I would like to answer those questions again and maybe with some details added. The questions are in bold and my answers will follow. I will be changing the words BACK to Do. Before they were DID as I had changed it.

Do I truly want what's best for my husband or wife? My answer YES. Absolutely I want was is best for my wife and I am determined to make sure that she receives nothing less than the best.

Do I want them to feel loved by me? My answer YES. Of course, if she doesn't feel loved by me at any given time, than I am not doing my job and I better refer to this chapter of Fireproof. It is our job as spouses to make sure that in everything we say, do, or act that we are making our husband or wife feel loved.

Do they believe I have their best interests in mind? My answer YES. Just as an example, my wife's job situation is not family friendly, not HER friendly, and not marriage family. I have stated to my wife over my dead body will she go back to the job of which she took a leave from. I always want to make sure in everything I do that I am keeping my wife's best interest in mind. Not only that, but making sure that I act on it as well.
Do they see me as looking out for myself first? My answer NO. Gosh I hope not anymore. I have allowed the Lord to change me through and through. I know I may still have my moments... let me rephrase... there are still moments where I may be selfish. But the Lord gently( GENTLY aka.. pounds me on the head ) reminds me of what my priorities should be and I fall right back into line.

Now my wife reads this blog and I trust that she would agree with my answers. In fact I might just have her answer these same questions about me. Bottom line is this. In order to have a successful marriage, selfishness has to be a component that is thrown out the window. It it is the same when it comes to our relationship with Christ. We are not going to have an open honest relationship with Christ if we are not allowing him access to every area of our lives. Back to marriage. We will not ever have a successful marriage if we are not giving of ourselves to our spouse in every area of our lives together.

OK so what to pray for... Pray for my mom and her fight with cancer. Pray for the Lord's will in our lives, our marriage. Pray for our kids. They can still use prayer every day, but also they are still not completely trusting of this new mommy and daddy. Pray for Wednesday's court date.

Father thank you again for reminding us of how far you have brought us. Thank you Father for showing us how to love our spouses. Thank you Father for all that you do!!