Every day when I am praying, I ask God for protection and I ask him to distract and destroy the enemy. Often I ask God to capture thoughts from my mind which torment me. Sometimes they are thoughts about my marriage, other times they are thoughts about the future. Sometimes they are thoughts about the past. It is the past that can rear its ugly head and start to implode this journey from the inside out. How do I stop that? Well... Like I said I ask God to capture those thoughts and haul them away.
Sometimes we have to take our trust out of past events. Sounds strange to say doesn't it? Thoughts of fear, drama, or any other reminders. These things can almost drive us to have an attitude of expect the worst and hope for the best. Trusting the bad of the past will make you stumble and fall. If we would just look forward, we would find that God is standing there with his hand out stretched to us. God wants to lead us to a bright and joyous future. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked at the past, or my wife has looked at the past. I can tell you the phrase that has come out of BOTH our mouths is this... "well last time when this happened you or it..." this usually comes out of our mouths when we are approaching one of those moments. Honestly... they are more often with my wife than myself. Why, because I made those moments what they were. My wife has every right to worry about the future as compared to the past.
Learning to trust each other from the inside out is going to help keep the marriage from imploding. One thing that my wife and I have to work on is believing for the general good that we are both trust worthy and that one or both of us isn't going to hurt the other "like the last time". We have to believe in each other that the fear, drama, or anything else isn't going to break that glass we are some what surrounded by. Times or moments are going to come and we need to trust that one or both of us isn't going to walk. Folks, this is not easy for either one of us. Really... both only have each other. The only one who understands better than us, is God. Yes... things can come from the outside and break the glass. BUT things from the inside can fly out and break the glass as well. Looking back on either account is going to destroy any progress made. The more I trust the Lord, the more I find love and trust in my wife.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
So I ask you, do you look back? Remember true love keeps no records of wrong.
OK so what to pray for... Pray for our marriage. We are learning so much. Pray for the Lords will. Pray for my oldest son and his behavior. Pray for my mom.
Father thank you Lord for reaching out to us and leading us along.