Triggers are something that we deal with in our marriage. It is not just the trust issues, the doubt, the anxieties, the hurt feelings, etc... but there are triggers as well. As with any death of a loved one, there are certain times of the year or moments that bring on memories from the past. Well when you are recovering from an affair, there are triggers as well. Lots of them. Every holiday, every birthday, everything and anything can bring on a trigger. Triggers bring on the doubts, the fears, and the anxieties. The prevalent thought in my wife's head sometimes when a holiday rolls around, is this time last year you were doing this or something to that extent. My only rebuttal is this... "Honey, I'm sorry, this time we will make it better than ever." The only thing I can do to help get her through these triggers is truly making sure that the experience as compared to last time, is the exact opposite of what it was. Sometimes it is not going to be one time, sometimes it takes a few times for that trigger to really go away. Like any traumatic experience there are side affects. Triggers are one of them. Triggers must be dealt with in a patient and loving way. There is no other way to handle them.
2 Peter 3:9
9 The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.
This verse is two fold for me. In order my life to improve and to get better, I had to make sure that I was 100% forgiven. Everything that I hid for so long from God was out in the open and taken care of. Husbands who are recovering from the affair must have that moment with God where you admit everything to him and ask for his forgiveness. I can remember several times before my "turn around" wondering when life was going to get better. I was expecting the Lord to just pick me out of the situation and make it all better. I thought any given day it would happen without any effort at all. Boy I was wrong about that. It wasn't until I gave everything to God and sincerely wanted out of the situation, that God was going to help me. It wasn't God taking his time. It wasn't God saying "ok when I get around to it, I will rescue this man." It was God waiting on me to give him the go ahead to change my life.
God had promised me a very long time ago that life was going to get better. I had just lost site of that. I had also lost site of what that promise really meant. The day I turned my back on God, I had given up on that promise. But praise the Lord he never gave up on me. That verse means a lot to me because I know the Lord is not finished with this promise. I know the Lord has plans to finish it and when he does, it will bring even more glory to his name than before and we will experience a glorious freedom in Christ!!
Oh... one more thing.. I am able to tie triggers and promises together. Whenever a trigger comes along, God promises my wife and I that the moment ahead will be what he intended it to be.
OK so what to pray for... Pray for my mom. We had a big answer to prayer after yesterdays report!! Keep praying. This weekend and next weekend, I want you to ask God to confirm his will to my wife and I. Pray for my kids, but especially my oldest son as he needs a behavioral healing of sorts.
Father thank you for taking complete mud and clay and making it something beautiful.