As I sit here on Sunday afternoon enjoying some time to reflect, I think about all the emotions and thoughts that my wife and I have encountered. Personally my end of it, I think of where I was this time last year. I think of how far God has brought me. I look back on some of the thoughts that I had that were son wrong. Some paranoid, some correct, and some just plain wrong in fact most were plain wrong. It has occurred to me that I am not the only husband who used to be worthless.
Our pastor this morning talked about the popular theory that there is at least one person in this world who looks just like us. The difference being that God created us all unique. I know that I am not the only man who has had an affair forsaking the covenant made day the "I Do's" were said. I know that I am not the only man who has struggled spiritually. emotionally. or had other issues to deal with. I am not the only man out there who made a poor choices on how to deal with it. But I am the only man who God created in his own way. If I were a painted picture or a piece of pottery, I would be unique in God's eyes. So what is my point? Keep reading...
This month I believe the Lord has been showing me something. It seems like the men of our church are really stepping up and taking the lead spiritually. Every one of these men including myself have amazing women behind us cheering us on. A few Sunday's ago, a devoted husband stood up in front of the church and admitted he had been battling with an addiction that the Lord had started to heal him from. This morning a couple admitted that they had issues both marital and personal, but had allowed the Lord to take over their family, their marriage, and their lives. In just a short amount of time God had transformed them. The first thought in my head? WOW I am not the only one. Or should I say WOW my wife and and I weren't the only ones.
For a long time in our church I have felt like I was walking around with a target on my back because of what I had done. The most serious of those things was being jailed for domestic battery. But what the Lord is showing me week after week is this. Since the Lord has forgiven me, he doesn't care about my past, but is only interested in my future. Therefore there is no reason to feel like there is a target on my back anymore. God is truly doing some amazing things in our lives, sometimes we need to stop worrying and just let God worry about it all. God is also showing me that I am not alone.
So I will admit that I thought everyone was judging me and my wife. Maybe some were, but most weren't. I thought that we were the only couple recovering from some type marriage issue. We weren't. I thought a lot of things during this journey, I was wrong about most. Here is what I wasn't wrong about. I serve a God who loves me unconditionally who isn't interested in the rumor mill. I serve a God who is in the business of restoring the broken hearted, the broken marriages, and the broken families. The only things we have on our back is what God put there saying "I died for this one, his sins are forgiven."
OK so what to pray for... Pray for my mom she is fighting a very aggressive form of breast cancer. Pray for our kids. Pray for our marriage that we continue to grow and build the base. Pray for the Lord's will for our lives. Pray for Wednesday's court date. God has answered prayer, but I believe there will be a chance to give my testimony about what God has done for me.
Father thank you for making us grow in you in our struggles. Thank you Father for loving us for the unique way you created us.