Friday, August 3, 2012

Heavy Heart....

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

Husbands today I write with a heavy heart for the deteriorating state of marriage and family. I am hearing more frequently of the family unit falling a part because the devil has infiltrated the marriage unit. Today I sit here speechless. Husbands, we need to start listening to the Lord. when things don't go how we think they should, we need not to listen to the temptations, and the thoughts are in our heads that are WRONG. It is the Lord we need to listen to and not our own way of thinking. As husbands our own way of thinking gets us in trouble and it is the carnal self that wants what is wrong. Husbands the only thing that is going to fix your marriage is God and Godly counsel that he provides here for us.

Husbands and wives... when you get married, the personal interest of self should go out the door. More so when kids are added and a family is made. When you are married, self is replaced by being one and putting the Lord in the center. Self is replaced by selflessness not selfishness. Why did you get married? Was it to see what YOU could get out of it? Or was it because it was to enrich your life with the person you promised to love forever? When God puts two people together, it is not because he expects you to throw the marriage out the door. It is because God expects you to serve him TOGETHER and to do his will. The reward is the joy that comes from marriage.

When troubles come, they are not meant to divide you, they are meant to bring you closer together as spouses and closer together with the Lord. If there is something you need from your spouse TELL THEM!! When your spouse is telling you they need something from you.. LISTEN with an open heart. DON'T seek what you aren't getting from any other source than your spouse and the Lord. Everything in a marriage should go before the Lord before any decision is made. Marriage is meant to be fulfilling not life sucking.I have learned to always examine myself and to make sure I am my very best before the Lord and my wife. Am I doing everything I can to contribute to our marriage or are there area's I can improve in. My wife does a great job of telling me. Don't talk at your spouse, instead talk to them with love. It is much better received and minimizes on the times they are put on the defensive. Defensiveness is a state that you want to avoid at all times.

Another thing that should go out the door is ANY and I mean ANY outside influences that may have potential to harm your marriage. When we got our marriage on the right path, we took a look at the things that may bring or brought trouble or caused harm to our marriage and we separated from them or put distance in order to protect what was most important. Some were friends, some were family, and some where other things non-human. These people and things were poison to our marriage and family. To this day, we are still seeing the effects of it.

Men, if your spouse won't listen, then confide in the Lord in heaven and a counselor here on earth. Find a male friend that you can also confide in. It is NOT acceptable to seek a female friend outside the family to confide in unless it is your mother, sister, or some other female blood relative. Go back and read that sentence again. Women... Same for you, do not seek a male friend to confide in unless they are your father, brother, etc...

The devil sets traps all of the time for our marriages to fail. I urge you today to trap proof, devil proof, and poison proof your marriage. Start, build, and rebuild your marriage and family on the rock of God and keep it there. Pray together every day, discuss daily what the Lord's will for your marriage. Always make sure you both are on the same page together with the Lord. \

OK so maybe I am not so speechless, but my heart hurts for the marriages that are treated like disposable garbage bags. The marriage was meant to be forever, not for when we get tired of it. If you are getting tired seek the Lord and lean not on your own understanding, but acknowledge him in all ways and he will direct your paths.