As I sit here, I right this from a fathers heart who loves his family very much. I want nothing but the best for my wife and my kids. But this letter comes from the heart and from an experience I am going through right now.
Some things you should know...
1. You are the peace keeper. Your job is to step in and help your kids solve conflicts between them to restore a loving relationship among your kids, mom, and dad etc... Do not.. I repeat DO NOT sweep conflict under the carpet. It will not go away. It may for a while, but it will always be there unresolved.
2. You are not to be the example of how not to be a father. In other words, don't give you son or daughter a lesson of what not to do as a parent.
3. When choosing to be a father, you are to love your wife and kids unconditionally. This means not at the times when it is most convenient for you, but at all times.
4. As a father it is your job to be a 100% involved in each of your kids lives. You jobs is to be the one constant source of consistency. One day when they have YOUR grand kids, you are to be involved in their lives as well. Do not make statements that you have tried everything to have a loving relationship with your son or daughter without actually trying everything. .
5. Fathers you must admit that you are human and that mistakes will be made along the way. Apologies to your kids are going to happen. It is a fact that you must deal with. Being humble is important.Own up to your mistakes.
6. Fathers do not be selfish in raising your kids. When you choose to have kids, self goes out the window. Enough said...
7. Fathers be an example of Christ to your wife and kids. Raise your kids in the church and show them how they should go. Give them the tools they need to always remain in the Lord and to make smart life decisions. It is also good to let your kids make mistakes, life and reality lessons are good and your kids will learn plent of them.
8. Fathers understand that your interest may not be that of your kids. Take interest in your kids interests. Embrace them and allow your kids to be who God made them to be. Be supportive in all endeavors they may embark on.
9. Loving advice given to your kids should always be based on the following. Your past life experiences, what the Bible says, and prayerfully based.
10. There will be times where tough love will need to be shown at any age. Make sure your tough love is justified, but that love is always shown in these situations.
11. Fathers, last but not least... Communication and understanding is a must in order for your child to always be open to you. We are a father first and a friend second. But embrace all that being a father is.
I could go on and on. My kids are still quite young and I have no idea what the future will bring with them. I am positive that the most interesting and best is yet to come. Being a father is not for the weak or the weak of heart. But the experience is one of the many rewarding experiences you will have in life. A roller coaster being a father is, but the ride sometimes will not always be fun. But being a father is the most important job a man can take. It is a life time commitment, not just when you feel like being committed. Imagine if the Jesus would have ignored his father and not died on the cross. Imagine if God would have given up on Moses even after me messed up. Fathers join me in being Jesus to our kids.