Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Under the blanket

My oldest son got an electric blanket for Christmas and he absolutely loves it. Every night we spread it out for him so he can crawl underneath. By the time we say our prayers, he is wrapped up and almost asleep. The boy loves his blanket so much. It keeps him warm and I think it gives him a sense of safety being wrapped up in something warm at night as he knows he will not get cold.

Sometimes I fail at loving my prayer blanket as much as my son loves his electric blanket.  Sometimes I want that same assurance from my heavenly father that he will wrap his loving protective blanket around me. This past month has been a struggle for us. Not in our marriage, but with what God has planned. We have had financial struggles and some things have happened that have made us really second guess some decisions that we made leading up to this point. We have decided together that it is now time for me to go back to work. Lots of resumes have been sent out with few results. This past week, I went to an interview that I blanketed with prayer only to walk out questioning something that I had felt so sure about. I walked out of there knowing that was not what God had for me. But more confused because of it, because I had blanketed it with prayer. I had misinterpreted my feelings based on the prayer blanket that this job was it. I felt defeated.

I have come to realize that just because we blanket something with prayer, it does not always mean the security of OUR answered prayer. Sometimes that answer to prayer comes in a way that stops us dead in our tracks because we get ahead of God. I called my wife on the way home from that interview and what she told me was that not everything comes easy. My wife told me that I needed to be patient and not get ahead of God. I was guilty as charged. So my search for a job and God's will for my life was put right back into his hands where it belonged.

I wonder how many of us blanket situations with prayer and really truly want what God wants when we prayer blanket. I wonder how many of us married people do this with our lives, our marriages and any other situation of life. I wonder how many of us trust and live under that blanket of protection that God truly provides us. I wonder how many of us corrupt that blanket by putting our own human willful wholes in it. I am learning that God brings situations in our lives to teach us to trust him. I am learning that God brings us to a point to where we are basically on our knees because we have run out of our own steam. It is when we are at this point that while on our knees we start praying and surrendering to God's will for our life and learning to trust him with everything. I look back at this journey and I think of all the answers to prayer. Sometimes answers to prayers are frequent and other times they are not frequent. It those "unfrequent" ( yes my own word there ) times when the answers are not frequent that I should really be hunkering down to be patient and trusting of God.

I love the Lord with all of my heart. I may not be perfect and sometimes just impatient, but I know my God loves me no matter what. Lord when I get impatient, remind me to crawl back under that blanket and continue to pray and wait, pray and trust.