Monday, April 8, 2013

Be careful little eyes what you see.... Part 1


O be careful little eyes what you see
O be careful little eyes what you see
There's a Father up above
And He's looking down in love
So, be careful little eyes what you see

Twice in the past three weeks I have sat in church and listened to husbands admit their porn addictions were either tearing their lives, families, and marriages apart or had torn them apart. All saying that they had gotten victory with God's help. In the past year, I have heard two husbands admit this as well. That is staggering. For every 10 men in church,5 are struggling with pornography. The Call to Biblical Manhood. Man in the Mirror, 6 July, 2004. I know of at least four with-in arms reach that are either battling or have battled a porn addiction.  I personally know of two husbands who battle with this evil addiction. The statistics are astonishing. I have spent the past day or so researching this particular subject. To understand this type of addiction you really have to do your homework. I knew with the widespread outbreak of porn online that the numbers would be high. But some of the data that I have seen is almost ten years old. I can only imagine what current statistics might be. For all intense purposes I am not expert on the subject of porn addiction. But documentation after documentation shows that stats don't lie. I know there are others sitting in church congregations all around the country who battle with a porn addiction in secret. Most are ashamed to admit it in public and in fact to their own families.

To understand a porn addiction is a puzzling thought. I am sure there are those out there that think "well if they would just stop looking at it, the problem would be solved.. etc" Not so fast. Gordon S. Bruin M.A. LPC describes a porn addiction no different than a drug addiction.You can view the full article by clicking here. But I want to quote a paragraph that might clear this up for you. Forgive me if I have quoted this wrong, but Bruin writes.. "In essence, the only difference between a heroin or cocaine addict is the way the drug enters the system.  The brain responds from information received from the eye quicker than from any other source.  Visual information is processed in the limbic system in nanoseconds.   This is why pornography is such a big deal.  Visual information is processed faster than from any of our others senses.   Even the ingestion of heroin or cocaine is much slower in comparison.  The brain responds to visual sexual images in microseconds where chemical reactions take place automatically.  There is a release of powerful chemicals that can overrule the rational brain and drive one to behaviors." Does this clear it up for you? Porn reaches out to men and says "here watch me, I will make you feel better" Porn wants us to look at it. For a few minutes porn promises us a high and a release like no other. It even gives us temporary comfort. Dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin and serotonin combined will give a porn user a great high, but leave them feeling down in the dumps afterwords. When shared with your spouse, these chemicals can create a bond that should last forever. When shared with porn, these chemicals will destroy the way you think of yourself, relationships and how you think of a women The average porn viewer will watch almost seven minutes from start to finish.

In our churches alone the numbers are off the charts. It is awful that there is even a chart for this. But here we go... let me flash some of these stats past you. According to safefamilies.org 51% of pastors say online porn is a possible temptation. 37% say that porn is a struggle. 20% of calls that come into the Focus on the family pastoral care line are pastors who are dealing with some type of personal struggle with porn. And the last stat... 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005). I am sure that 57% is low compared to 2013, in fact I am sure it is probably higher. 

And now the affect of porn on marriages. Here are two more stats. By the way, I wasn't going to include a lot of stats in this particular blog, but I feel you might want to know that even those some of these stats are older, they are very real and most likely higher if the same surveys were to be taken in 2013. So here are a couple on marriage and family. Keep in mind I have a document 40 pages long with all kinds of stats and facts on porn and sex. 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home (Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003). The Internet was a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces (American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2003 - divorcewizards.com). If we are not paying attention to what our children alone are looking at on the internet, than we are in trouble. On the average a child will be exposed to some type of porn or solicitation of sexual content by age 11. 70% of men between the ages of 17 to 34 will watch porn at least once a week if not more. Like a drug addiction a porn addiction can financially tear a family apart piece by piece. The entire world industry is worth 4.9 billion. Porn pulls in a staggering 2.84 billion dollars a year. 

Folks this is a real problem. It is a serious problem. Right now it is a serious break down in our nation, in the world, in our church, in our marriages and families. Some of these men I know have dealt with these addictions from a very young age. In part two I will discuss why men, women, and children turn to porn. The cause and affect it has on the person and family. Stay tuned...