All week I have been thinking about the cause and the effect of why men turn to porn. I am not saying that this is a problem for only men, but like I said in part one, stats don't lie. So here is a stat on women and porn. 30% of visitors to porn sites are women. This however may be the only stat I throw out there in this blog. Please read on and realize how we must guard against against the evilness of porn.
The traditional and God intended family of the past, present, and future is under attack. The family is being attacked on every side. One of those weapons the enemy uses is pornography. Like in war days leaders of platoons sometimes preferred not to be saluted in fear that they may be picked off by a sniper. Husbands/Fathers are head of the family and this is where satan chooses to pick us off at all cost. If you remember in part one I mentioned a stat of the age of which children are exposed to some type of sexual solicitation before age eleven. That is just one cause of a porn addiction.Another cause is emotional. Some people have an emotional opening and porn knows just how to fill it. There are all kinds of ways the emotional holes are formed. I am sure you are filling the blanks here, but like I said in part one, porn says come here and I will make you feel REAL good. Porn is counting on those holes to fill its holes up with lots of money. Porn doesn't care about you. Porn just wants your business. Porn won't be there when you lose everything. Porn just moves on to the next person it can destroy.
Lets look at marriages. Marriages are full of ups and downs. After being together for a while, the home fire starts to dim. Spouses might become board with the differences and likenesses of which they fell in love in the first place. Men and women become lonely and start searching for something that might fill that void. Rather than turning to their spouse and communicating their needs and feelings, they find that emotional and physical need through porn. This can lead to many wrong paths. Desensitization can set in and make you search for even extreme sexual situations just to get that high. Porn can lead to adultery. Porn can lead to violent acts and assaults on others. Porn can lead to anger and may lead a person to make some very poor choices.
There are men out there who do not want to admit they have a problem. When confronted about it, they shy away from those who want to help. This further isolates them from the reality of the situation.. Men who look at porn most times will lose interest in their wives, and withdrawal from the family. Rather than viewing their wife as their equal, they view them as an object. They find that they are not motivated at all to be the husband and/or father that God wants them to be. When the thought of admitting to their wife what is happening, pride sets in and they avoid it in order not to be ashamed. What these men don't understand, at this point no matter how bad they want to kick the habit, they are dealing with a full on chemical addiction. Quitting cold turkey may work for some, but does not work for all. God can help those who want help. But those who get the help, have to tread the line carefully in order to avoid a relapse. I have mentioned in other blogs and even handed this advice out to others that the first steps of victory are great, but satan is waiting for you to come down from that high to attack again. Since this is the case, I would recommend finding a Christian male counselor to help you gain strength and get to the core of what may have pushed you to this point in the first place. Spend lots of time in God's word. Please don't point blame else where and or deflect it all together. Make no excuse and deal with your addiction head on. Don't be surprised when it comes to your wife and the hurt she will feel. Admitting this to her, is brave in some ways will liberate you from the guilt you are feeling. Ask for forgiveness not only from your wife, but from God too.
Earlier in this blog I talked about holes in ones life. It only takes a small space for sin to work its way into your life. Porn is a sin. Remember that. If you find that you are reading this right now, make sure you sure up those holes in your marriage. If there is one, allow God to fill it in. If there is a hole in your marriage, talk to your spouse. If you and your spouse cannot come to a resolution, then seek a counselor for help. Don't allow porn to fill those holes. It will lead you down a path that could devour you for good. Recovery is possible and God can free you from the chains of a porn addiction.
Finally, porn is a problem in close to half of the families in the United States today. Satan would love nothing more to see families destroyed, lives ruined, and for you to be devoured by this evil addiction. Seek God out and allow him to rescue you from this terrible thing. Be honest with yourself, your spouse, and God about your addiction. It is never to late to turn from sin and turn your life over to God. It will be the best decision you ever make.