Monday, June 17, 2013

Marriages need it too...

The journey is not easy and although you may think you are weak, you are wrong. The journey of marriage is a forever commitment forever.  A man and women should never enter into it unless they know that they know they can complete it together. In other words, until death do you part. Marriage is a machine that is involved and has many moving parts. If one part is broken, the rest of the marriage will not work and it will proceed to crumble. That one part that is broken will eventually cause a complete failure. I don’t care first time married, second or whatever, all parts must be working. I worked in manufacturing for many years. There were times when the whole division or plant was taken down for routine maintenance. If routine maintenance wasn’t done, eventually something would break down, taking down the rest of the plant. When that happened, manufacturing was brought to a grinding halt until the problem could be fixed. Nothing could work until that issue was resolved. 
In the past year and a half I have found out that my marriage requires down time maintenance. Downtime could be a date, maybe just an hour or two to talk or an overnight stay some place. I believe with kids this is even more important, that a husband and wife connect in every way possible during this time of maintenance. Without this time, things just starting falling apart and you will find yourselves doing things separately of each other. Separation will cause distance, causes communication to stop, and the marriage will start to suffer as well as your family. Maintenance is even more important if you have kids. The time alone for you and your spouse is very important. Deciding to raise a family does not mean putting the romance, the connecting, and the maintenance on the back burner. In fact, if you have kids or have decided to start having kids, keeping the marriage on the front burner is even MORE important. It is important to make your marriage even more of a priority. In our marriage we make it a point to intentionally leave the kids or send them away so that there is time to focus on our marriage and why you married each other in the first place. One of my favorite times is when we travel. The kids are usually occupied in the van and we usually do a lot of talking during that time. I could go into why it is important to display how much you love each other in front of your kids; however I will save that for another time. But it is important. Bottom line here is to not lose each other in the hustle and bustle, in parenting, in your career, and any other thing that might try to steal the focus from your marriage. Keep at the center of why you married each other in the first place and always keep it in maintenance and ever expanding. And hey… Don’t forget our father in heaven who brought us spouses together in the first place. God should always be in that center mix too.